Lawyer.Eats: Sushi Sasabune: Omakase It Ain't So!

I hate writing poor reviews about places since I understand that the restaurant business is tough. But after hearing so many raves about Sushi Sasabune in Brentwood (on Wilshire), I was really looking forward to enjoying some great, super-fresh fish. I had been warned that the setting, reminiscent of a cafeteria, was less than enticing, but that the delicious food made it all worthwhile.

Sadly, this was some of the worst sushi I have had in a long time. And sushi is not like pizza, which is good even when it's bad (in my opinion, anyway!). Sushi is BAD when it's bad. Horribly bad, and hard to get down even. Unfortunately, last night, Sasabune was like that.

I started the meal with one of the restaurant's two Chardonnays, which was sweet but fine. Five out of six at our table ordered the omakase.

Omakase: Oh my goodness this is bad.

Now, omakase, in my experience, is supposed to be a delightful and thoughtful conversation between the sushi chef and the diner. The chef is supposed to pick the choicest items of the day, and present them in a deliberate procession of tastes and textures that create a delicious food narrative for the diner. The omakase is not supposed to be a set sequence of the same dishes every time. At the best places, I have seen the chef sneaking a peek at my reaction to what I ate, or the chef taking his time to think about what to present next.

At Sasabune, "omakase" is a euphemism for routine dinner for the masses. Its primary purpose seems to be to make life easier for SASABUNE. Every time the next dish would come, the waitress would arrive with a huge tray of little plastic plates which reminded me of soy sauce platters with a couple of pieces of nigiri on each one. Now remember, we had five people having omakase. On the tray would be probably 10 teetering plates. I felt like I was buying peanuts from a vendor at a ball game. Very, very expensive peanuts (thank goodness we were on an expense account!).

Albacore appetizer: no lifeguard on duty.

Before the nigiri conveyor belt even started rolling, the opening dish made me very suspicious because it literally grossed me out. It was a very cold, like, straight-from-the-fridge cold plate with ten or so little slices of albacore, literally DROWNING in a puddle of sickly sweet ponzu sauce. My dining companion A. noted that her plate even had a plate mark on it- the plates of fish had not only been in the fridge, but they had been STACKED. Shudder. I know just from making a basic tuna sashimi appetizer that you don't leave raw fish sitting in sauce because the sauce will cook it. This albacore was so mushy, it made me ill. It disintegrated in my mouth on the first bite. I couldn't take it. I ate two bites. The first was exploratory. The second was incredulous, "just checking" to see if the first bite was for reals. And it was. Some of my tablemates liked this dish, praising the fish for being so "soft". There is a difference between sushi that melts in your mouth, though, and sushi that disintegrates and dissolves in your mouth. This sushi was without question the latter. It was unpalatable. I have to also say that the wasabi was very odd. I have no idea what was up with it. It seemed whipped.

No sauce, no thank you.

Then the nigiri came. The fish included halibut, salmon, yellowtail, more albacore, and an uninspiring medium toro, among others. For some of the nigiri, the waitress would say "No sauce!". I usually hear this when eating something really flavorful and delicate, sometimes a light fish which the chef has already seasoned with a squeeze of lemon and a dash of sea salt, or maybe a touch of soy dabbed on top like a kiss. Last night though, "No sauce!" became a warning of mediocre things to come. Every piece of fish that got a "No sauce!" at Sasabune was painted with what seemed to be that same sticky-sweet ponzu sauce from the dreaded albacore appetizer, totally masking the taste, but unfortunately not the sub-par texture. Mushy, mushy, mushy. How many times had these poor little fishes been frozen and thawed to get like this? Or sat in fridges?

The cuts of the fish were also some of the worst and most inconsiderate I have ever seen. Usually, one of the delights of excellent sushi is that the chef skillfully makes the fish into a little, perfect piece, that sort of tapers on each end and sits delicately and attractively on the ball of rice. Every piece at Sasabune looked like it had been hacked off by an amateur with a sharp knife. They were rectangular, offered no benefit to the mouth whatsoever, and looked unprofessional and unappetizing. Also, nothing was cut to order, it appeared. Everything was done ahead of time. Frown.

The rice was also a downer. It was warm-- really warm-- and tasted like vinegar. It was so crumbly that you couldn't pick up a single piece of nigiri, with hands OR chopsticks, without having the rice ball completely fall apart. This sushi rice was horrifying. Oh the indignity!

Crab roll: does anybody know the heimlich?

But the last straw was the "grand finale" that the hoardes of Sasabune lovers I had spoken to prior to the dinner lavished with much praise: the crab hand roll. It looked innocuous enough, but at the first bite I suddenly stopped mid-chew to ask if anyone at the table knew the Heimlich. I was serious-- I had giant pieces of crab shell in my roll. One of my dining companions who had enjoyed the meal thus far commented that it must mean the crab was really fresh. But still, my table mates encouraged me to be completely disgusting and spit out the crab-- because I couldn't swallow the shells. I didn't eat any more. The worst part: as we were leaving the restaurant, we saw on a counter a huge, teetering stack of crappy-looking little plastic containers labeled "Crab Meat", just sitting there. Shudder.

Conclusion: a sad day for sushi.

I didn't even see the bill, but I know it was very expensive. Maybe Sasabune was good once, or maybe it's just horribly inconsistent, but I could not in good conscience ever recommend to anyone to go after my experience last night. I must assume that this place is simply riding on its reputation to keep it in the top ranks of sushi restaurants in L.A. I will not be going back.

:-P

I hate doing this but like a young George Washington, I cannot tell a lie:

Food: (1)